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by: LoreleiF
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As many of you know, Second-Hand Addiction is my term for the people who love addicted people. They are the innocent victims of the sickness, if you will. Therapists call these same people codependents, and they will say that codependents are just as sick from the drinking and drugging that happens around them as the addicts are...if not more so. Unfortunately, Second Hand Addicts do not always realize they are living with addiction. they do not see how drastically they are affected by addiction, or that they need help. They often know they are desperate- but don't know exactly why or what to do about it. Hence the reason for my blog.

In addition, we who know addiction are well aware that addicts and codependents only have two ways to be in life. They are either the action or the reaction, the aggressor or aggressee, the controller or controllee and so forth. And I myself find I have fit into both categories as a former codependent, as well as a person who has struggled with food addiction.

Now why do I say former codependent, and how could that be? Many of you therapists and 12-step program people will wonder about this term and think I am in denial to say it out loud. You are clear that 'once a codependent, always a codependent.' And truthfully I thought the same way previous to my taking of The Landmark Forum and other related courses. Previous to those courses, it was a long, hard struggle to erase my codependent tendencies and the struggle went on daily, weekly, monthly- despite the enormously beneficial presence of therapy and 12-step programs in my life. But I say former because I now live in a place where codependent/ addicted tendencies are virtually erased and do not show up in my life. And if once in a while some codependency creeps in, it comes and goes so quickly that the layman does not see it.

Now those of you in the recovery world balk because you know what it means to fight the endless battle against dangerous codependency in both the addict and the Second Hand Addict.

It is because The Landmark Forum and all Landmark courses deal with our past, and putting our past in the past so that it no longer runs us. As a general rule, we Addicts/Second-Hand Addicts are fraught with dis-empowering pasts and it was in these dis-empowering pasts that we created our 'kill or be killed', action/ reaction ways of being. Now recovery specialists have fought long and hard to help people deal with their pasts so that they could move forward . We all know the past runs us. But these pesky pasts keep popping up their heads- and mucking up the works of recovery. So you could hardly believe that a course or education could complete a past so fully that it looked as if it had never happened.

But that's exactly what the technology of Landmark Education does. To explain, I will delve a bit into my recent experiences. Many of you who read my blog will know that I recently faced a year long struggle creating finances and a 'day-job.' For nearly a year I had not a single interview nor offer. Then I 'put some past in the past Landmark course. As soon as I did that, I got three interviews in one week, and 2 in the next. I am now looking at several possible jobs to choose from in the next week or so.

Now let me say that the things that I put in the past were largely blind-spots to me. No amount of the outsider (such as a therapist) looking in and telling me the problem could break through those blind spots. You could have written my issues in the sky on a clear, blue day and I would never have seen them. The only way I saw them was when I looked at myself in a new way- through a particular and powerful lens called Landmark Education.

And that is what the Landmark Forum does. It turns on a dimly lit light-bulb in your brain.

So do the Landmark Forum, whoever you are. And if you deal with addicts and codependents, and they are healthy enough of mind, have them do it to. You can visit my blog for the website. Then let me know that you did it and how it went. Or better yet, email me and I will personally register you for the course. It would really make my day to have you get something this monumental for your life.

About the Author

For more about these and other ideas to have a free, joy-filled life visit the blogs of well-known Second Hand Addictions Spokesperson, Lorelei F at secondhandaddiction and at

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