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by: ClaireTourney
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Are you trying desperately to get your ex back? Well it's important to understand that the emotional pain that you are experiencing could be making your thinking pretty muddled right now. If you don't want to keep blundering along and make it much less likely that you will get your ex back you must step back and honestly evaluate how you have handled the break-up situation so far. You don't want to keep making things worse and push your ex even further away from you instead putting the odds in your favor that you will get your ex back.

People who have lost someone or something that they want desperately to get back frequently allow their emotions to take over and soon desperation sets in. In a break-up situation this results in you exhibiting the push away behaviors that make it much less likely that you will be getting your ex back.

If you continually beg or plead with your ex to get back together with you it will only drive them further away. You might think that if you can only convince them of how much you love and need them, they will finally understand and come rushing back into your waiting arms. You may be surprised to find instead that you could be pushing them into the waiting arms of someone else instead!

You need to regain a sense of your own dignity here. Remember one of the many classic movie scenes you may have watched where the ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend character is trying desperately to win back their lover with needy declarations of undying love, or convince them that they will change, or make it up to their ex for whatever they think they did wrong?

As you sat in the theater and watched a scene like that weren't you usually cringing inside with embarrassment for the poor man or woman that was exhibiting such humiliating behavior and didn't even realize it? Or even if they were aware of it they seemed powerless to stop themselves. You know as you watch that scene that our poor suffering movie character is ruining any chance they might have of getting back their ex.

Do you see yourself in that movie scenario? Are you doing any of these things that are not only pushing your ex away, but making you feel worse about yourself even though you think you are powerless to stop it?

I'm sure you are thinking that it doesn't matter if your self esteem takes a beating, if you can just convince your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend of your love that you will win them back so you will do anything it takes, even move mountains to get them to understand how much you love and need them. You have to realize that you are building mountains between you and your ex instead. Or perhaps your thinking that you know that yours is a true love and true love conquers all! Well true love is the operative word, or perhaps the better term would be real love instead.

Real love isn't desperate or needy. Real love is confident enough to allow your ex to have the space they need right now and give them time to breath before you make your next move - and if you play your cards right your next move will make it all the more likely that you will be able to get your ex to come back to you instead of continuing to push them away.

Now don't give up if you feel you've messed things up too much - it's never too late! Take that step back and give it a break. Use the time wisely to get yourself together and start learning a SMARTER WAY to get your ex back.

About the Author

Hi, I'm Claire Tourney and I empathize with how you are feeling right now. If you want to get back your self esteem and get your ex back too, please visit my Squidoo lens Get Your Ex Back - The Smart Way!

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