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by: BenjaminWise
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It is a very grand statement to suggest that you should read this, but I feel that what I have to share may give you some valuable food for thought. After all you are reading this because you want to get your ex back.

Although the circumstances of a break up can vary widely from couple to couple, there are a few simple measures you can take to help get your ex back.

This may sound easier said than done, but it's not impossible. It's all a question of perspective. Instead of looking back on the relationship or the break-up from the point of view of what your ex did wrong, think also of mistakes you may have made. Nobody is perfect, and more often than not it takes two to end a relationship.

The first fundamental begins with responsibility. The key to any healthy relationship is balance. Two people who care deeply about one another do not become dependent on the other but interdependent. They are there for one another and really respect one another. In terms of interdependence each individual takes responsibility for their actions. The first problem when relationship breaks down is that we start to not take responsibility for our actions.

This means accepting the blame, and letting your ex know that you're prepared to own up to your part of the break up. What this does not mean, however, is rationalizing your actions to be the other person's fault. In other words, don't say, "I did these things but it was because of you." This isn't an apology, it's an accusation and can only serve to anger your ex or put them in a position of being defensive, not receptive to the prospect of a reconciliation.

But all that is only half the battle, of course. Good communication is the key getting your ex to a place where they feel comfortable taking you back. So be sure to listen to their side, too. Although you may not like what they have to say, you'll learn more by not interrupting and not taking everything as personally.

Maturity leads to communication. Communication is about sharing, when your mouth is in gear you are learning nothing. Trust me what's in your head is old news. So you need to listen. Once you do listen I suggest not reacting, in actual fact once your ex has gone through everything, even if it upsets you, just leave it there, and take time out before trying to figure out a solution.

This leads to the next point, give your partner space, do not come off as demanding or like lost puppy seeking attention. This screams of insecurity and dependency. To conclude, keep communication open, give your ex space, talk to key mutual friends to get other perspectives on the matter, go speak with your ex and listen, then go home and think about it - do not react then and there. Take responsibility for your actions and deal with the challenge head on.

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