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by: ClaireTourney
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If you have recently experienced a break up and find yourself wondering how to get your ex back one of the first things to do is take stock of how you are doing emotionally right now. Are you crying all the time over every sad song you hear, or about things that remind you of your ex and all the good times you had together?

Experiencing intense emotional states is understandable and may also get you the attention you might feel you need right now, but after while your ex along with the other people in your life are going to tire of the drama and wonder why you can't seem to get yourself together.

The Holly stereotype of the depressed, moody lover may be interesting to watch in the movie theater, but it's not going to play well in real life with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

And while you may not realize it, continuing to let your emotions run amuck can be a way of not facing the reality that there may be some things you need to change to have any chance of getting back together with your ex.

You also need to ask yourself if you are really sad about the break up or are you just ADDICTED to the feeling of sadness and heartbreak?

You really have to be careful here because intense emotions do release chemicals into our cells that become addictive over time and that's part of the reason you find people continuing in the same patterns, the same dramas and the same mistakes. Their cells are actually looking for that intense emotional fix that they have become addicted to and this triggers behaviors that will cause the emotional state all over again.

The best way to change this is to recognize yourself doing it. Sometimes you can get so involved in your own dramas that you don't even realize what you are doing and that you are repeating the same behavior patterns over and over. Once you are aware of this a little light bulb in your brain goes off and you catch yourself in the cycle and start to reverse the pattern.

This enables you to start feeling a little more in control and ready to take more positive steps to get your emotions balanced and self confidence back.

Be glad about the fact that you are getting smarter about your emotions and use this time away from your ex to work on yourself and what you need to change. Doing things that make you happy and help you to feel better and stronger will not only increase your confidence, but will also make you more attractive to your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Then you are ready to begin learning how to get your ex back - the SMART way!

About the Author

Hi I'm Claire Tourney. Visit my Squidoo Lens How To Get Your Ex Back-The Smart Way to understand how your emotions may be hindering your chances of getting your ex back and discover a PROVEN, successful plan for getting your ex back.

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