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by: ClaireTourney
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Word Count: 394

During the intense emotional upheaval of a relationship break up it can be hard to keep your emotional balance. And if you tend to be a more melancholy type of person it can be easy to sink into depression and self pity.

Sometimes this can lead to a secret hope that perhaps your ex girlfriend will feel sorry for you and come back to you and then you will be happy again.

In this emotional state it may seem easier to settle for sympathy instead of love and you may succeed in getting your ex girlfriend back for awhile. Women tend to feel responsible to rescue and help someone they see in emotional distress and pain.

But understand why this will only work against you in the long run. In effect you are saddling your ex girlfriend with your emotional pain, and since women are usually more nurturing and sensitive she may come back to try and save you from your suffering, but this doesn't lay the foundation for a happy relationship, you are planting the seeds for a dysfunctional and co-dependent type of relationship instead. A relationship that will cause you both a lot more pain in the future.

And even if you don't consciously realize you are doing it this falls under the category of manipulative behaviors - a serious relationship killer. You may get your ex girlfriend to feel sorry for you and even succeed in getting her to come back, but would you rather have pity or real love?

Settling for sympathy instead of genuine love may be the best you think you can hope for right now, but in the end you will be further behind than when you started. You deserve a lot more and if you don't agree with that then you need to work on your confidence and learn to start liking yourself.

If you are really serious about getting your ex girlfriend back you need to understand that you just cannot attract someone's love when you are being clingy, desperate and emotionally needy.

Take this time now instead and use it to work on yourself. Start doing things that make you feel better, stronger and happier and you will not only begin to like yourself more but you will become more attractive to your ex too. Then you are ready to begin planning a SMARTER strategy for getting your ex girlfriend back.

About the Author

Hi I'm Claire Tourney. Visit my Squidoo lens Get Your Ex Back - The Smart Way and find out how to get back your confidence and discover a successful, PROVEN plan for getting your ex girlfriend back too!

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