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by: ClaireTourney
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If you are still not over your break up and would really like to have a chance at winning your ex-lover back, you have to make sure you are not committing the types of breakup blunders that actually will make it harder to win your ex back.
Have you committed any of the ten break up blunders?
1. Telling your ex that they are making a huge mistake. This won't convince your ex to change their mind, they will only be more relieved that they decided to break up with you in the first place.
2. Calling too soon after the break up. Your ex has broken up with you and this should make it clear that they need some space right now and the last thing they want is to hear from you.
3. Drunk Dialing. That fourth glass of wine or beer has completely impaired your judgment so you keep picking up the phone and try and get your ex to talk to you.... See #2
4. Leaving tons of email and voice mail messages.... Again - see # 2
5. Telling your ex and everyone who will listen how sad, lonely and depressed you have been since the breakup. If you are hoping to win the sympathy of your ex you need to understand that this is just being manipulative, and no matter how unintentional it may be you are still overwhelming them with your emotions and neediness, a real relationship killer.
6. Continuing to argue about the break up and bringing up past disagreements and squabbles. If you do get your ex's attention and get them talking to you this is not the best use of any contact time. You are being immature and petty and this isn't going to get you back with your ex, instead it will keep you constantly cycling through the past history of your relationship.
7. Professing your undying love over and over. Even if you think that your ex doesn't understand how much your really love them, that's obviously not the issue at the moment or they wouldn't have wanted to leave. It's time to take a different approach and start analyzing what went wrong with the relationship and what you need to change instead of believing that true love conquers all.
8. Apologizing over and over again. Now if you did something wrong, really blew it by cheating or breaking a big promise you know you need to apologize. But if you don't know the right way to make an apology, (and hardly anyone does) you won't be able to repair the rift in the relationship. You also have to know when to apologize instead of apologizing too soon. And if you really didn't do anything that needs to be apologized for then you are only demeaning yourself and this will make you even less attractive to your ex.
9. Trying to make your ex jealous. This may work initially because humans tend to be wired to want what they can't have, and it may even be a tiny part of a smarter strategy to get your ex back. But it's not a good tactic to depend on for the long term. The reasons for the break up won't have changed so trying to win your ex back using only manipulative tactics will have you ending up with a more complicated relationship that will be even harder to keep going for the long term.
10. Pleading with them to take you back. I'll let you in on a little secret here: people like people who like themselves, who are emotionally secure enough not to want someone back so desperately that they will sacrifice their self respect by begging.
Now that you know what blunders to avoid when trying to win back your ex girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife it's time to get a perspective on where the relationship went wrong and what needs to change and then you can begin planning a SMARTER strategy for getting your ex back.
Hi I'm Claire Tourney. You need to avoid the Big Blunders most people make trying to get their ex back. Get SMARTER steps and a PROVEN, effective plan for winning your ex back by visiting my Squidoo lens Get Your Ex Back - The Smart Way!