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by: VinDiCarlo
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Word Count: 549
Have you avoided approaching a girl just because she is talking to another guy?
Or maybe you saw a group of girls with one or two guys with them and you ASSUMED the guys were cooler than you so you avoided approaching because you feared embarrassment.
There are a couple of reasons why most guys are too shy in approaching women who are with other guys.
Most guys when they saw the girl being with another guy, they think it is her boyfriend.
This shouldn't be the basis of not talking to a woman. Especially in a social setting like in the bar, where people meet other people. Plus - that woman is not a "slave" of the guy or a piece of property, she's a human being and is free to whomever she chooses to talk to.
Approaching oftenly a woman who is "with" a guy can make you look more confident, and draw out the jealous side of the guy, making him look insecure and weak.
The second reason why guys don't approach woman who is "with" a guy points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.
Men tend to be threatened by other men, instantly assuming that the "other guy" is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful.
This exist in an ancient survival strategy that has been passed through human minds.
The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious, and it's hard to tell who the more "dominant" person is in any given interaction. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn't know how dominant the other guy is.
As was probably common thousands of years ago, a guy doesn't know if he will be embarrassed verbally.
So it's smart to play it safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Males who were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but all it took was one loss to end up dead or exiled from the tribe.
And then their genes were taken out of the "game" so to speak.
Usually the one that can lived long enough to survive and reproduce are those guys that played it safe and avoided confrontation.
The irony is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety - men makes a false assumptions that will lead them to avoid approaching women unnecessarily.
The thing is, when you are in the bar or club and you see a woman talking to another guy, you would think she's not WITH him.
They JUST MET!
For many instances I've approached a girl with a guy thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.
I think of all the times I completely avoided talking to a woman because I saw her with another guy. I regret having missed so many opportunities. Which brings me to my first point:
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO HER. DON'T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL YOU SEE PHYSICAL EVIDENCE.
Approach a woman so that you will know what they really are. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.
So use your brain - just don't be stagnant in making a false assumptions.
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