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by: JayReiss,M.S.W.
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As an Internet Dating Coach, I regularly review Online Personal Ads to see how men and women are promoting themselves. Often the ads are written so poorly, that it's no wonder why many people fail to attract the types of partners they're asking for. Men often write in a matter-of-fact manner - which is absolutely not the way to communicate with women! And the women's ads often come across as demanding - producing poor results - which ends up reinforcing their views that "all of the good men are taken."

Here's one example. This ad was submitted by a woman in her early 40's -

professional who enjoys open conversation - 41

"I love to talk about books that have struck you bizarre or interesting. I do want someone to hang out with, and must enjoy talking about politics, books, places and wine. Must love chocolate!"

Communication is apparently high up on this woman's priority list (how nice!) Whether "talking about everything" is also nice would depend, I suppose, on what "everything" might include. It's hard to say what she's referring to when she talks about "bizarre" books, although Stephen King novels come to mind for me. I'm not sure how many guys love chocolate, but for the sake of maintaining positive relationships, I imagine a lot of guys would go along with that one - assuming, of course, that "bizarre" books don't stand in the way first!

With an online dating ad like the ad above, I can only imagine the types of guys who'd reply!

Or - take a look at this online personal ad, from a 29-year-old guy who describes himself as a "Tattoo Teddy Bear" --

tattoo teddy bear - 29

"i just want a good girl that knows how to treat a man with respect."

Short, sweet, and to the point, yes?

After reading ads like this, I can really understand why so many men and women are communicating at cross-purposes!

One of the most important concepts I'd like to convey is this: When you sit down to write your Online Dating Ads, always write them just like you're having a regular conversation!

In other words, here's what NOT to do:

1. Never write an online dating ad like you'd write an advertisement for a newspaper.

2. Don't talk in a condescending manner. Be polite and treat everyone like your equal!

3. Never write a short (one or two sentence) ad. You just can't say enough in a short ad to really "sell" yourself properly!

Here's what you SHOULD do:

1. Talk about yourself in terms of who you are as a person, what you enjoy doing on a date, and list some of your hobbies and interests.

2. Using colorful, imaginative language, and paint a picture of how she or he will feel when you're together on a date. Use examples, anticipate questions, and be upbeat and optimistic. Give your reader a sense of what being with you is like - and describe that in some detail when writing your dating ad.

3. Talk about some of your best qualities. (Are you warm and friendly? A good listener? Are you compassionate and understanding?)

4. What's the benefit (i.e., the "payoff") for answering your ad right now? And finally...

5. Finally - please remember to use a spell-checker on your ad before you click the "submit" button and have it published!

If you follow the guidelines I've suggested above, you'll be on your way to a very successful Internet Dating experience!

About the Author

Would you like to meet beautiful women online today? Or handsome men? Check out this very Special Offer: Get three FREE online personal ads and a FREE Online Dating Profile! Go to my Online Dating site now at http://www.online-dating-coach.com

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