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by: PamBaldwin
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Word Count: 551

What makes a good first date? I think there are a lot of factors that go into answering that question. It all depends on you and your personality. However, when it comes to dating, there are a few almost universal rules that determine whether or not a date was \"good\" by society's standards anyway.

First off, if the person taking you out shows up an hour late, it is a pretty bad sign. Secondly, if he or she smells bad, is dressed inappropriately, or screams at you to get in the car, those are also bad signs. Conversely, if he or she shows up on time, clean and treats you well, things are looking up. Unless you like smelly people who treat you poorly.

Fun, on a first date, should ideally be low-key and give you a chance to talk to each other. Any activity that lets you and your date interact easily and which you both like will do: dinner, coffee and desert in a cafe, an early-evening walk in a park, a museum event or gallery opening, or your city and social group's equivalents. Noisy, crowed atmospheres don't make for good first dates, so leave bars, concerts, and anything too structured to let you chat for later.

Doing an activity can be really good too. It lightens the mood up a bit. Most people are less nervous playing mini golf that they are stuck at a dinner table. If this is true for you, plan an activity such as bowling, going to a carnival or something similar. That way you have an ice breaker, and even if you don't have a perfect love match, you may have some fun anyhow.

And what do you talk about? Not politics or religion, until you have an idea of each other's philosophies and affiliations. Controversial and emotional topics such as abortion are best left alone on a first date unless you know you have common ground.

One exception here is that it is a good idea for both parties to give the other a general idea of what they're looking or hoping for from a potential romantic connection. If one of you is marriage-minded and the other is planning a cross-country move soon, that's ground you ought to cover. Similarly, if one of you is separated-but-not-yet-divorced, or already dating six other people but looking to fill that Tuesday hole in your schedule, that's not something you ought to leave for later.

This doesn't mean that you have to say yes or no to relationships in general, or the possibility of a relationship with this person specifically, on a first date just that if one of you will be joining the military or going to a graduate school in a distant city soon, it's good to know that. If the graduate school is in a city you've always wanted to visit, it's good to know that, too.

So, what makes a first date fun is mostly up to the people who are out on that date but good manners, a chance to chat, and an activity that would be fun even if it was with a friend rather than a date usually make for a good time. A first date doesn't have to be love at first sight or the best restaurant in town to be fun!

About the Author

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