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by: LisaCopen
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If you live with chronic pain or an illness, odds are that you have attended a support group at least once since you were diagnosed. Did it feel something like this?

Despite feeling exhausted and in pain, you decided you would attend the group anyways. By the time you got there you were running late, couldn't find the suite number, and finally just parked and hiked to an upstairs room in a dark wing of the hospital. You quietly found a seat, a hard, sticky seat. People smiled at you, but soon they got back to their discussion and it seemed no one was feeling encouraged by it. They argued over the side effects of medicine being worth the benefits, two people tried to convince you to buy a juicer from them, and soon you were ready to run screaming from the room. It's too depressing!

Aren't support groups supposed to be valuable in learning how to cope with illness and encourage one another?

Yes, they are! Studies done on support groups by David Spiegel, MD, have found that support groups do improve the quality of life for their attendees. Recently studies have concluded, however, that the lifespan of a patient with cancer may not increase because of a support group environment (CANCER, Sept 2007). However, we cannot deny the fact that the validation of one's feelings about their illness definitely makes a difference in how they cope with chronic illness.

Whether you are looking for leadership program ideas for your small group, or you're just thinking about attending one, you may have cause for concern about how fast a group can go from being a friendly, honest place to a time of complaints and even bickering. Would you like some fresh icebreaker games for small groups to perk people up?

Here are 10 tips to help you make your chronic illness support group include some laughter as well as just the discussion of challenges. And these ideas will work for any groups, from a Dementia support groups in Dallas to an Ebsteins Anomaly support group. And these ideas are perfect to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group.

1. Cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them back-to-back to a stick or plastic knife. As you go around the circle sharing have each person make sure they are able to hold up both sides of the faces when they are talking about their illness. For example, Mary could hold up the sad face and say, "Preparing for a joint replacement and all the therapy involved afterwards is a bit scary." (Then flip it over) "But the upside is my family and friends are already volunteering to come over and help me out around the house."

2. 2. Rethink your definition of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, ask everyone to bring an item to contribute to a JOY box and then pass it around during the meeting and let people choose everything to take home. The range of objects can be anything a silicone bracelet, a favorite poem, a funny DVD, an encouraging note or even a joke book. Have everyone return the item during the next meeting and occasionally have people bring fresh items.

3. Be goofy together with ice breakers for small groups. Make up a fun, corny theme song to start each meeting, or pick a tune everyone knows and make up new lyrics. Check out comedian Anita Renfroe's website for some terrific examples that will leave you in stitches.

4. Bring some corny things to use during your meetings. Avoid making anyone feel pressured to use them. (If you force someone to wear a clown nose she may never come back) Have them available, however, and encourage goofiness before getting down to the real reasons you are there. Oriental Trading supply is the source of thousands of funny items guaranteed to spur a giggle.

5. Don't allow the group to turn into a platform for any one member who talks incessantly about her illness, the treatment, the alternative treatments or even her complaints. If you have someone dominating the conversation, tell the group you are implementing a timer and set your own guidelines. (For example, can people vent for 60 seconds about anything they want? Can they share about an alternative treatment they want the group to try? Give them a time limit.)

6. Ask everyone to bring an encouraging item to include in a gift basket for someone in need who is either unable to attend the group or not even a member. Put your heads together about what kinds of items to include. You can find over five-hundred simple ideas in the book "Beyond Casseroles." Remember personal notes mean a lot, even from people you don't know, so ask people to write a sentence or two to include with the item.

7. Go out for one evening just for fun. If everyone want to act their age you may consider a sit down restaurant, or you can head on over to Chuck E. Cheese's or Build-A-Bear. It's a terrific icebreaker for small groups since people who haven't opened up in the group may find this is a more relaxed environment. Consider including family members to participate.

8. Hand out articles and other resources that encourage people to thrive despite their illness. You can find fun items through the National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week website like "My illness is invisible but my hope shines through."

9. When you schedule guest speakers, remind them that you want to provide the most positive outlook as possible, while still being practical. Invite them to pass out props, encouraging articles. Listen to your speakers before scheduling them. Some illness speakers are quite depressing.

10. The people in your group are quite amazing and able to make a difference. This is important for them to remember since they often feel so out of control. Your group may not be able to actually walk for charity, but they can likely work at a registration table, pass out bottles of water for a walk/run, or even just hand out presents to kids at the children's hospital. Teens with chronic illness often get support groups can be great motivators for these kinds of outings. Find a project people are passionate about where they can see they are making a difference in the lives of others.

Support groups can provide some of the most influential relationships that can help one live successfully with chronic illness. The environment of the group, however, can make or break its usefulness. With these few simple tips, your group can be a refuge and a place of true relaxation, creating an special group for people to create friendships that could just last as long as the illness, perhaps indefinitely.

About the Author

Find more ideas for icebreakers for small groups with your free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen. Just sign up for a weekly encouragement ezine, HopeNotes.

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