View PDF | Print View | Html Version
by: KenrickCleveland
Total views: 2
Word Count: 564

"It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen." -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

When we talk about the top assets of a persuader, one of the most beneficial attributes is the ability to listen. Some people are naturally good at listening. Some are not so good. Others are downright poor listeners. If you're eager to become an excellent persuader, then honing and/or improving your listening skills is mandatory.

First, what listening is NOT: it is not formulating what you're going to say to respond to someone as they're talking. When you are an active listener, verbal and non-verbal communication are essential -- eye contact, nodding, smiling, small interjections. You are hearing, remembering, empathizing and opening yourself up to what the person is saying. Being an excellent listener also requires that you follow up what they said with pertinent question.

The power of listening is most apparent in persuasion when we elicit our prospect's criteria and core values. We ask the question, "What will having X do for you?" When we ask this, we prepare ourselves to listen. We unlock the core values and criteria of our prospects and clients and in order to gain full advantage, we have to hear what they're saying and not be off in our minds thinking of what we're going to say next.

After we get the the first part of their criteria and dig even deeper to get the ultimate criteria, we are also paraphrasing back to them, exactly what we heard them say. "So, what you're telling me is, having X will do this for you" or "As I understand it, what you are looking to do is have more Y in your life". . . These follow ups show our prospects and clients that we understand what they are looking for therefore building more trust and getting them to reveal even more of what makes them tick.

Taking this a step further, if your prospect replies to you with auditory, kinesthetic or visual words, you can ask your follow up questions with those words as well. 'I see that having a new financial advisor will brighten your future and give you a greater vision of the life you've always pictured.' (FYI, that was a visual orientation. . . )

One of my favorite tools to use along these same lines, is silence. Wow. Talk about powerful. Many people are highly uncomfortable with silence and will do their darnedest to fill it up. As persuaders, we can use this to our advantage. The more information we have about our prospect's wants and needs, the more we can combine these wants and needs with our products and services.

Another very important aspect of listening is knowing how to respond with empathy. We all have wildly different experiences in life and sometimes it's hard to know how to relate to other people, but keep in mind, that despite our differences, we are all fundamentally driven by the same things. . . the core drives. We've all experienced loss, joy, frustration, enthusiasm. . . and on some level, we can connect with another's experience.

Listening is something that you can learn through practice and persistence.

About the Author

Kenrick Cleveland teaches techniques to earn the business of affluent clients using persuasion. He runs public and private seminars and offers home study courses and coaching programs in persuasion techniques.

Add Comment